It’s time


Time for me to make clear
Something I thought
Was obvious when I wrote
The Price of Hate

Most understood
Some asked questions
To clarify rather
Than make assumptions

On that day
And on the days since
I have felt
Unconditional support
And love
Overwhelming love
Healing love
Soaking in to places broken
For far too long

But today
In the midst of
Bathroom bills
In the aftermath of
Orlando
In the facebook posts
Run rampant
It is apparent
Some of you missed
What I said
Or ignored
What I said
Or forgot
What I said
Or didn’t care
What I said

So let me be
Perfectly
Crystally
Entirely
Explicitly
Proudly
Clear

I am not straight.

I. Am. Queer.

Perfectly
Crystally
Entirely
Explicitly
Proudly
Queer

It is not your business
To know why I claim
That particular word
I am a private person
My sex life
My love life
My romantic desires
Are none of your concern

It is enough for you to know

I am queer

And have always been
Even when I didn’t
Acknowledge or
Understand or
Speak that truth

So when I say
What I need to say
In this moment
Today
I hope your ears
Are open to hear

You are someone who
Matters to me
Whose friendship
I value
A relationship
I hope
Can continue

But …

When you speak hate
When share hate
When you keep silent
In the face of hate
Toward anyone
Who is

Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Asexual
Aromatic
Pansexual
Intersex
Gender Fluid
Gender Neutral
Two Spirit
Non-Binary
Queer
And any other letter
In the gloriously
Rainbow coloured alphabet
That makes up
The people I claim as siblings

When you tolerate hate
Against my family
You are speaking hate
Against me

It is not
Against an unknown evil
With an agenda
Contrary to God’s will
You are spewing hate
At someone you
Have known for years
Someone you once called
Family
Classmate
Student
Colleague
Youth Leader
Mentor
Pastor
Friend
Or whatever other label
You choose to apply to
What we shared
What connected us

And yes
Sharing posts
Making comments
Supporting political movements
In the name of religious belief that
Vilify
Misgender
Stigmatize
Deny rights to
Denigrate
Dehumanize
Is speaking hate

You are entitled to
Your theology
Your belief
Your point of view
Your fear
Your emotional reaction
To something you
Don’t understand or
Don’t experience or
Don’t acknowledge

You are not entitled
To use any of
Those reasons
To lessen
The innate value
Of another human being
To take away rights
To block protections to
Ensure safety
To make someone else’s life
Harder to live

Be grateful
For the privilege
You have never needed
To realize you have

Use that privilege
Make the world
Safer for all people
Do what the God
You claim commanded
Act justly
Love mercy
Walk humbly with your God
Defend the oppressed
Love your neighbor as yourself

If you can’t
If you won’t
Don’t be surprised
When I decide to
Prioritize the well-being of
My rainbow family
Over your need to
Prove you are
Righteous and faithful
At the cost of
Our mental health
Our dignity
Our lives

I first wrote, recorded and hit publish on this poem in June 2016.

It’s been bouncing around in my head these last few weeks as a rising tide of hate keeps sweeping across the U.S. and is also quite visible in Canada too. I almost decided to update the poem, but then someone might think this is a new phenomenon. It’s not and it wasn’t when I wrote it, but I was new to it. As someone who’d only been out for two years.

I’d never recorded me speaking one of my poems before, but it is too easy for people, especially within the Christian community, to share and make what they think are “innocent comments” without realizing the impact it has on real people that they actually know, so I wanted to make sure there was a human face to these words.

For those who are prepared to engage in respectful dialogue, I welcome your thoughts and am prepared to engage in that conversation with you. I lived and pastored in the evangelical church world, I know that moving away from what we were taught is hard and scary and feels like it must be wrong. The thing I can say now (that I couldn’t have said back in 2016) is God is still here, outside the box we were taught God belonged in. There is good fruit and there is community with other people of Christian faith that gives spaces for questions and being all of who you are.

However, please be aware that your “theological questions” are my day-to-day life.  As such, I may choose to disengage from the discussion and/or block your involvement, if the conversation turns from respectful engagement and generous spaciousness.

Also, in case it wasn’t clear, from the poem, the existence, humanity and dignity of 2SLGBTQIA+ people is not up for debate nor is the existence of faithful 2SLGBTQIA+ Christians.