Give me a little time ...
we didn't get here
suddenly
we won't find the path forward
immediately
Give yourself a little time ...
you burnt out
you exhausted your reserves
you won't be magically fixed
without time to rest
Give us a little time ...
to explore again
who you are
to grow into
who you long to be
Inspired by the reading of Mary Oliver’s poem “Blue Iris” during tonight’s Lectio Divina practice.
for the one whose name I do not know whose story I do not know except for a few tiny and life-changing details you recently told your family that you wanted them to use new pronouns for you I do not know why you chose the ones you did but I know you chose they/them the only other thing I know one of your family members asked online friends, followers and strangers to pray for you I hope you didn't see what he asked you deserve better and more from those called family I wish I could say he asked for comfort for you on this journey to living out who you truly are who you were created to be but he didn't and my heart broke for you I did say I'd pray though not for what he asked because coming out is a precious journey and you, like every trans or queer person, deserve to know that you are loved and accepted and valued and supported whatever label you claim in our rainbow family so I prayed for you to know peace and love from those most dear to you to feel confidence as you take this step and I prayed for your family for changed hearts for willingness to set aside theology held tightly beliefs that would lead them to think you are somehow less than perfectly loved and created by God exactly as you are as queerly as you are as whatever gender you know yourself to be but in case their hearts cannot see you in case they cling to to tightly to what was never true I prayed for courage to walk the path you need to honour who you are and for comfort if you must grieve their loss so you can move confidently forward and bravery that you already have to find companions for the road ahead chosen family who know and love you
I don’t know the specific person I was praying for yesterday, but I encountered their brother on Twitter (nope, I’m not calling it any other name).
I wish … I wish so many things, but mainly I wish for a world where every 2SLGBTQIA+ person didn’t have to wonder if the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally would really be able to do that. I particulary wish that for those who have grown up in the church.
I am ever so grateful that by the time I finally figured out I was queer, my family had already made it to affirming (at least mainly), but I also know that version of the story is far too rare. So, really, this prayer is for far more than just one person whose name I don’t know but whose pronouns I do, it is for all of my rainbow siblings, in or out of the closet, whatever label, whatever gender identity or sexuality you know to be yours, whose families haven’t yet been able to see you for who you are. Some day may they change and until then, may you know that your rainbow family loves you and sees you.
You are queer enough and you are loved.
What do I mean when I say I'm praying for you? It means that in my heart, and maybe physically, I've lit a candle and quietly spoken your name in the presence of the divine, whatever that might mean to you or me What do I mean when I say I'm praying for you? Not what I meant when faith was certain when I was sure I knew God's heart or at least wanted you to believe I did What do I mean when I say I'm praying for you? It means I am seeking light for you that when it is dark there will be a glimmer the tiniest spark to lead you on your path What do I mean when I say I'm praying for you? Not what I meant when prayer was used as a weapon to judge and shame and convict without compassion when prayer was a way to sanctify gossip What do I meant when I say I'm praying for you? It means an offer of love and support as unconditional as I know how to give so we both know we are not alone on the journey
I’ve been thinking a lot about what prayer means to me now that faith is both less certain and yet deeper and richer. Similarly, prayer is now both more and less than it once was.
it's not just one of you it's so many of you I see their words the quotation marks they use questioning the legitimacy of your calling because of who you are because you're a woman because you're queer because you're gay or lesbian because you're trans or non-binary because you're disabled or neurodivergent because you're not who they think God could possibly call and every time I see those words my heart breaks for you I know many of you have grown accustomed to this hate have learned to ignore their outrage have thickened your skin and learned to lean into God's calling regardless of the hate thrown your way and that is a beautiful and powerful thing but I also remember how those words land not every time sometimes you laugh them off sometimes you roll your eyes and sigh and move on because God has given you much more important tasks but sometimes the words stick not a serious cut just a tiny prick on top of so many tiny pricks and prods and pokes in the tenderest spot where you are both strongest and most vulnerable the spot where you know God's calling in those moments know that you are seen know that those who have heard those same words even if we've left our callings behind we feel that pain with you we see how God has called you not despite of what makes you uniquely you but because of what makes you uniquely you because you're a woman because you're queer because you're gay or lesbian because you're trans or non-binary because you're disabled or neurodivergent because you're not who they think God could possibly call that is exactly why God has called you and we stand alongside you offering our strength and our care our ears, virtual or real our understanding and our prayers and when we can, even ourselves as shields so you can stay focused on the work to which you are most definitely called
This is only the second time I’ve recorded myself reading one of my poems, but words on a page didn’t seem enough.
For those of you this is written for, I wanted you to be able hear them these words from the voice of a friend, in case that’s what you need to remind you.
I will never know what you see in your mind as you try to close your eyes for sleep meant to be restful but so often not but as my eyes close from the comfort of my pillow I quietly say your name in hope as a prayer as a wish just maybe this night will be different that when you finally allow your eyes to close you will find love holding you knowing you accepting all of who you are forgiving the things you want to but don't yet believe can be forgiven that when exhausted you finally succumb to sleep you will find unexpected peace deep refreshment restoration from exhaustion to wholeness
God I don't know what to pray
Let's be honest I'm out of practice
At anything more than saying
Someone's name
Imagining them held in light
Surrounded by love
But maybe that's enough
You already know more
Than my words can express
So rather than fussing over
My lack of words
I'll light a candle
And say the name of my friend
Over and over and over again
With tears in my eyes
For the hurt they are holding
Trusting you to bring them comfort
To wrap them in a blanket of love
Held safe amidst the heaviness of loss
To protect their heart
Yet stay soft enough to care
To make space for their grief
While giving strength for the work ahead
To remind them they are not to blame
For the results of senseless violence
To bring gentle light into the darkness
When it threatens to overwhelm
To encourage them in their desire
For making the world a better place
To help them know they are enough just as they are
And what they do matters even if it feels like it didn't
Poeming Out 