For my friend, about choices made before

I wish I could but
I cannot offer you absolution
Forgiveness is not mine to grant
I am not the one you left aside
For things she could not change

And so I offer you what I can 
As one who shares part of her path

Your affirmation of
Your lived out commitment to equality for
The whole of the LGBTQ+ community
Is seen and known by those within

I know that cannot take away 
Your grief
Or your regret

But ...
May you find comfort knowing
Your words and actions matter
You make the world safer
A better place for those still here

And ...
Somehow, somewhere
I believe she knows
You chose to follow the path of love
Because of her

Which is more disturbing?

Rainbow coloured outlines
Painted in the square
Bodies sprawled out
Cut down in the midst of life
Holding hands
Clinging to one another
Around a globe
Only
Two simple words
Remember Orlando
Watching countless people
Walk straight across
Eyes averted
Or unaware of
Horror represented
Under their feet

I don’t know
When it appeared
Maybe they’ve seen it
Everyday and grown
Accustomed
Maybe they only see
Rainbow colours
Leftover Pride graffiti
Nothing to see here

I see it today for the first time
My heart weeps
Lives cut short by hate
I stop
Pause
Remember
Reflect

My heart weeps more
I know there is much
Since that horrible night
I know we can’t hold
Everything
Our lives would be
Overwhelmed

But the lack of care
To realize some
Almost certainly
Counts themselves as allies
Their Pride duty done

To hear a parent ignore
A child’s question
Hey look! What is this?
Their response
Hurry the child along
I understand protecting
Innocence
But at what cost?
White hetero-normative appearing
Twenty-something couple
Pauses to look
A sliver of my faith restored
Until
Traffic slows
Their words clear
In the silence

Okay. I know some people died, but
Do we really need to have this
Everywhere?

I sit back down
I write
I take photographs
Knowing they are not
For me
I will not forget
But much of the world will

First published on my old blog on August 3, 2016.