Category Archives: Prayers for my friend

For a friend and sibling, whose name I do not know

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for the one whose name I do not know
whose story I do not know 
except for a few tiny and life-changing details

you recently told your family
that you wanted them to use 
new pronouns for you
I do not know why you chose the ones you did 
but I know you chose they/them

the only other thing I know
one of your family members
asked online friends, followers and strangers
to pray for you

I hope you didn't see what he asked
you deserve better and more from those
called family

I wish I could say he asked for comfort
for you on this journey to living out 
who you truly are
who you were created to be
but he didn't
and my heart broke for you

I did say I'd pray 
though not for what he asked
because coming out is a precious journey
and you, like every trans or queer person, 
deserve to know that you are loved
and accepted
and valued
and supported
whatever label you claim in our rainbow family

so I prayed for you
to know peace and love from those most dear to you
to feel confidence as you take this step

and I prayed for your family
for changed hearts 
for willingness to set aside theology held tightly 
beliefs that would lead them to think
you are somehow less than 
perfectly
 loved and created by God 
exactly as you are
as queerly as you are
as whatever gender you know yourself to be

but in case their hearts cannot see you
in case they cling to to tightly 
to what was never true
I prayed for courage to walk the path you need
to honour who you are
and for comfort if you must grieve their loss
so you can move confidently forward
and bravery that you already have 
to find companions for the road ahead 
chosen family who know and love you

I don’t know the specific person I was praying for yesterday, but I encountered their brother on Twitter (nope, I’m not calling it any other name).

I wish … I wish so many things, but mainly I wish for a world where every 2SLGBTQIA+ person didn’t have to wonder if the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally would really be able to do that. I particulary wish that for those who have grown up in the church.

I am ever so grateful that by the time I finally figured out I was queer, my family had already made it to affirming (at least mainly), but I also know that version of the story is far too rare. So, really, this prayer is for far more than just one person whose name I don’t know but whose pronouns I do, it is for all of my rainbow siblings, in or out of the closet, whatever label, whatever gender identity or sexuality you know to be yours, whose families haven’t yet been able to see you for who you are. Some day may they change and until then, may you know that your rainbow family loves you and sees you.

You are queer enough and you are loved.

For my friend, when your calling is questionned

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it's not just one of you
it's so many of you
I see their words
the quotation marks they use
questioning the legitimacy of your calling
because of who you are
because you're a woman 
because you're queer
because you're gay or lesbian
because you're trans or non-binary
because you're disabled or neurodivergent
because you're not who they think God could possibly call

and every time I see those words
my heart breaks for you
I know many of you have grown accustomed to this hate
have learned to ignore their outrage
have thickened your skin
and learned to lean into God's calling
regardless of the hate thrown your way
and that is a beautiful and powerful thing

but I also remember how those words land
not every time 
sometimes you laugh them off
sometimes you roll your eyes and sigh
and move on because God has given 
you much more important tasks

but sometimes the words stick
not a serious cut
just a tiny prick 
on top of so many 
tiny pricks and prods and pokes
in the tenderest spot
where you are both strongest and most vulnerable
the spot where you know God's calling

in those moments 
know that you are seen
know that those who have heard those same words
even if we've left our callings behind 
we feel that pain with you
we see how God has called you
not despite of what makes you uniquely you
but because of what makes you uniquely you
because you're a woman 
because you're queer
because you're gay or lesbian
because you're trans or non-binary
because you're disabled or neurodivergent
because you're not who they think God could possibly call
that is exactly why God has called you

and we stand alongside you
offering our strength and our care
our ears, virtual or real
our understanding and our prayers
and when we can, even ourselves as shields 
so you can stay focused on the work
to which you are most definitely called

This is only the second time I’ve recorded myself reading one of my poems, but words on a page didn’t seem enough.

For those of you this is written for, I wanted you to be able hear them these words from the voice of a friend, in case that’s what you need to remind you.

For my friend, about choices made before

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I wish I could but
I cannot offer you absolution
Forgiveness is not mine to grant
I am not the one you left aside
For things she could not change

And so I offer you what I can 
As one who shares part of her path

Your affirmation of
Your lived out commitment to equality for
The whole of the LGBTQ+ community
Is seen and known by those within

I know that cannot take away 
Your grief
Or your regret

But ...
May you find comfort knowing
Your words and actions matter
You make the world safer
A better place for those still here

And ...
Somehow, somewhere
I believe she knows
You chose to follow the path of love
Because of her

For my friend, who doesn’t sleep much

By Posted in Poetry, Prayers for my friend Tagged , Leave a comment 
I will never know 
what you see in your mind
as you try to close your eyes 
for sleep
meant to be restful
but so often not

but as my eyes close 
from the comfort of my pillow
I quietly say your name
in hope
as a prayer
as a wish
just maybe
this night will be different

that when you finally allow
your eyes to close 
you will find
love holding you
knowing you 
accepting all of who you are
forgiving the things
you want to but don't yet
believe can be forgiven

that when exhausted 
you finally succumb to sleep
you will find
unexpected peace
deep refreshment
restoration from
exhaustion to
wholeness

For my friend, when I don’t know what to pray

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God I don't know what to pray
Let's be honest I'm out of practice
At anything more than saying 
Someone's name
Imagining them held in light
Surrounded by love
But maybe that's enough
You already know more 
Than my words can express

So rather than fussing over
My lack of words
I'll light a candle
And say the name of my friend
Over and over and over again
With tears in my eyes
For the hurt they are holding

Trusting you to bring them comfort
To wrap them in a blanket of love
     Held safe amidst the heaviness of loss
To protect their heart
     Yet stay soft enough to care
To make space for their grief
     While giving strength for the work ahead
To remind them they are not to blame
     For the results of senseless violence
To bring gentle light into the darkness
     When it threatens to overwhelm
To encourage them in their desire
     For making the world a better place
To help them know they are enough just as they are
     And what they do matters even if it feels like it didn't

For when it is dark

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This morning when you wake 
May there be sunshine outside your window 
To remind you that the light will always return 
But if the sun is hidden by clouds  
And the sky is still gray 
May it feel like being hidden away  
Safe in your favourite blanket fort  
Until you choose to face the world again
 
Whatever is outside 
However it feels inside 
May you have rested feeling held in love 
And even when that did't feel possible 
May you have rested enough  
To find courage to hold on another day 
Until even the tiniest sliver of hope 
Has time to grow and remind you 
You are not alone and you are loved

It a tough time of year. I fell asleep last night thinking about and praying for a friend who is finding things particularly dark. I woke up with these words on my heart.