for the one whose name I do not know
whose story I do not know
except for a few tiny and life-changing details
you recently told your family
that you wanted them to use
new pronouns for you
I do not know why you chose the ones you did
but I know you chose they/them
the only other thing I know
one of your family members
asked online friends, followers and strangers
to pray for you
I hope you didn't see what he asked
you deserve better and more from those
called family
I wish I could say he asked for comfort
for you on this journey to living out
who you truly are
who you were created to be
but he didn't
and my heart broke for you
I did say I'd pray
though not for what he asked
because coming out is a precious journey
and you, like every trans or queer person,
deserve to know that you are loved
and accepted
and valued
and supported
whatever label you claim in our rainbow family
so I prayed for you
to know peace and love from those most dear to you
to feel confidence as you take this step
and I prayed for your family
for changed hearts
for willingness to set aside theology held tightly
beliefs that would lead them to think
you are somehow less than
perfectly
loved and created by God
exactly as you are
as queerly as you are
as whatever gender you know yourself to be
but in case their hearts cannot see you
in case they cling to to tightly
to what was never true
I prayed for courage to walk the path you need
to honour who you are
and for comfort if you must grieve their loss
so you can move confidently forward
and bravery that you already have
to find companions for the road ahead
chosen family who know and love you
I don’t know the specific person I was praying for yesterday, but I encountered their brother on Twitter (nope, I’m not calling it any other name).
I wish … I wish so many things, but mainly I wish for a world where every 2SLGBTQIA+ person didn’t have to wonder if the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally would really be able to do that. I particulary wish that for those who have grown up in the church.
I am ever so grateful that by the time I finally figured out I was queer, my family had already made it to affirming (at least mainly), but I also know that version of the story is far too rare. So, really, this prayer is for far more than just one person whose name I don’t know but whose pronouns I do, it is for all of my rainbow siblings, in or out of the closet, whatever label, whatever gender identity or sexuality you know to be yours, whose families haven’t yet been able to see you for who you are. Some day may they change and until then, may you know that your rainbow family loves you and sees you.
You are queer enough and you are loved.